someone threw a dead crab at me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
