I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
