You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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