There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
