Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
