I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
