glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
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Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
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We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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