I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine