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• (212): View more from New York

  ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  this is Aaron, hi

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it

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• (425): View more from Washington

  She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....

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• (509): View more from Washington

  also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on

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• (956): View more from Texas

  They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea

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