East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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