maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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