Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
