She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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