is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
