need another drink. this is the easiest way
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
operation harelip BJ is a go
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize