Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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