i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
