The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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