At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This house was built for laser tag.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
