So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
