we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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