If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
