i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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