My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
