When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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