using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize