went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
