No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
