i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize