He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
