I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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