Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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