Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
