So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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