you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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