I looked at my own cervix.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
