what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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