Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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