There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
