It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
