I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
