Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
