Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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