yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
porn star boner night. come get it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
