smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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