How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
