she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
