Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize