dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
