I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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