Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
