I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
