Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
