We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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