I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
