i just wanna soil my oats bro
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
