My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
