belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
