i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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