Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
