it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
