I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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